I was just snuggles up in bed working on falling asleep, and this came to mind and I needed to get it down on paper before I forgot it!
Here it is:
My name is Kristina. I am a wife, a daughter and a sister. I am a friend, co-worker and a lady at the grocery store. I am a scrapbooker, computer gamer, singer and writer. I sit beside you in church and the doctor's office. I am a former drug and alcohol abuser. I am Bible believing, born again Christian. And I have depression.
I am NOT a stigma, a statistic or broken. I am NOT lacking faith, my mother's hugs or quality relationships. I am not defeated or giving up.
Depression is defeating, isolating, numbing and draining. BUT it cannot take away from the gifts and promises that God has given to us.
2 Corinthians 4: 7-12 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
I am not writing this in victory or defeat, but rather consider this an update from the battle field. I will not let depression steal from me the joy that God has intended for me, nor will I let this take my eyes off of Him who has already won. Jesus knows the very number of the hairs on my head, He made me in His image, and I know that He has a plan for me. His plan was not for me to be defeated, but to be a conquer.
Romans 8:37-39
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Many great leaders and godly men in the Bible knew what it was like to be depressed. They cried out to God, and God heard them!
Here is my prayer for myself and others who have felt the darkness that depression brings:
Holy Father, I thank you for your Son Jesus. I thank you for the sacrifice that you made for me. So that I can come to you without hesitation and you hear my prayers. You know the hearts of men, our thoughts, our fears and our deepest sadness. I ask you to restore in me the joy of salvation. Give strength to carry through the trials that have been put before us. You said that you will not put anything on us that we cannot withstand, I pray that when we feel our weakest and broken that you would show us your strength. Jesus I know I feel alone, but I pray that you would continually remind me that you are with me. Even when I feel like I am in the valley of the shadow of death or hard pressed, I know that you are with me. I ask for strength, courage and joy. I ask this in Jesus' holy name. Amen!
God is bigger than depression. He is bigger than me and my own strengths. I am glad that the Creator of the universe loves me and cares for me.
Krissy,the way you wield the Sword of the Spirit is very encouraging, I too have fought this depression dragon for years, we moved very suddenly recently and the dragon wants me to stay in bed, not bother getting dressed and stay indoors, even though the area is a beautiful winter wonderland, others pay fortunes for to come up and see & play in. As my husband is now retired and I'm self employed, it is very easy to give in to this inclination.
ReplyDeleteAs a sister in Christ, much of what you shared in your blog could be my own thoughts, (our enemy really doesn't have any new tricks does he?) The Lord took me through the medication and counselling stage followed by learning about the correct way to eat, followed by an easier way to get the nutrition I needed to an epiphany when I listened to some audio tapes a friend at church brought to me, this was when things really started to change in a major way (another piece of the puzzle so to speak) I listened to these tapes over and over until they went deep into my spirit and I went from soul-feeling to spirit-knowing, where the easier way to get the nutrition I needed was what I depended on for healing, He (being the Lord)showed me Who was my healer and if I did this "In remembrance" of Him daily He would heal me and already has because "by His stripes I'm healed". If you are interested in finding out what I learned here is the link www.sidroth.org and put Dr. John Miller into the search bar.